Having talked to a ton of divorced and remarried people, most of them don't make a choice that makes them happier the second time unless there is abuse or some sort of drug or alcohol dependecy in the first marriage.  In other words, most likely you should find a way to fulfill your dreams in your current relationship.

I don't have to live your life so I will leave it at that.  Marriage is complicated and there is a reason that very few make it to the 40-50 year mark.

You are singing the swan song of every military wife out there.  I was married to the military for ten years, and never worked anywhere longer than a year.  (Until now, but I'm divorced)  It's frustrating to feel like you are a second-class citizen, which dependents really are in the military.  It's okay to be upset, but realize that you can still achieve your goals.  It may just take some more time, a little more nudging and finagling.  But could you imagine doing it with anyone other than him?  You can choose to let the military lifestyle become a wedge between you two, or you can make it work for you.  You can keep him or spend the rest of your life wondering if you made the right decision.  There are very successful women who serve as military wives, who found a way to get past the stupidity, the bureacracy, the idiocy of starting over every single time they move.  You can do it, too.

Breathe in, hon.  Then breathe out.  And most importantly, talk to him about your fears and concerns.  You'd be amazed what you can accomplish together.

Not being married, I don't think I can offer much advice - just don't rush things. Take time to think (not that you're not doing that already... I just felt the need to offer advice... even though it's probably advice you've already taken).

I do hope you work things out so that both of you are happy. <3

That's a situation most military wives find thereselves in. That's probably going to be the hardest and most important decision you will have to make so far in your young life. You know that you love him, but when he said "he just wants me to be happy and if that means leaving him then he won't stop me?", he proved that he truly loves you, too. He is a rare man indeed, to let someone that he loves go, just so she'll be happy.

I don't think that I could leave someone that loved me that much.

My daughter is married to a career Army man, and had the same type of conflicts for a few years. She has adapted, tho, and works at a job she enjoys and is going to college part time in the evenings. As far as I know, they are still in love, and still happily married.

Best of luck, hope things work out for you.

I guess it depends on what you think is more important to you.

Maybe a trial separation.

If he beats you, abuses you, disrespects you...then by all means pack it in.

If all he has done is love you....what the fuck??? Don't be stupid.

Grandparents are overrated, at least in my experience. I have never seen where they added all that many great things. A loving spouse on the other hand sure as hell does.

I think you should be proud, not complaining.

@saintvi -  We don't have kids yet, so that's why we were even discussing it. I really appreciate your insight though, nothing is final. It's so hard because I do love him very much, I just feel like I'm giving up so much in return for a life I'm unfamiliar with and scared of.

@TheBigShowAtUD -  Well, I may be young, but he's getting on up there at 26. We are, we're taking things one day at a time... neither of us want to even utter the 'd' word, it's too scary to even think about. We're going to try and work on a compromise, find some middle ground. Thanks very much for your concern, I truly appreciate it.

@TheTheologiansCafe -  We're going to take it one day at a time and try and talk it through to find some middle ground. We do love each other, we both agree on that, we just want different things, and honestly one of us is going to have give a little more than the other... I just have a hard time being that person. I'm dealing with my selfishness.

@cmdr_keen -  Yes, I know what we have is special. He is really a wonderful man and if I throw that all away, I know that I'll regret it. However, it is hard to accept that my life isn't going to be the way I always invisioned it.

@StewieIsMyHero -  Your hug was fabulous, thank you KP!

@daeshii -  We do talk, and I know he will do anything to make me happy, but his mind changes from day to day, and sometimes from hour to hour. I've never encountered anyone like him in my life. Some days when we talk and I tell him about my fears, he tells me that he will do whatever it takes (recruiter's duty, short tours in Korea) to get BOP and bring us back to this base that is only 3 hours away from our families, and then other days he tells me he wants to cross train right away, which wouldn't allow us to be at this base since it is a very small AETC base. I know there is no surefire way to stay in one place, but this base is almost like the black hole of the AF-- if you want to stay here for a large portion of your career, it is a very likely possibility.

Anyways, we spent a lot of time talking and holding each other tonight, talking about our future and what would make each of us happy. We're going to try and work out a compromise, because neither of us want to lose what we have.

Thank you so much for leaving me your kind words of wisdom-- I talked to another AF spouse at work this afternoon and she said close to the same thing, and both of you really helped to bring things in to perspective for me. I appreciate it so much!